Damn palmetto bugs

Most of you don't know what a palmetto bug is. It's an American cockroach. So there. That clears that up.

PTSD is a thing. And it's a real thing. And it doesn't just happen to soldiers who go to war. It can happen to rally anyone. Child abuse, rape, injury of some sort, a disastrous event or really anything that has harmed them. I have it for a few things but today's post will be because of child abuse. I started a new job today and worked my ass off. Then came home and took a nap. Only to awake sobbing uncontrollably. Add allergysto that and you get a mess of a person. Last night I had a dream that a roach was in our kitchen. Now I'm not talking Utah roaches that are little. I'm talking like a 3 to 4 inches big. Nasty little suckers. Anyways this roach got away before john (husband) could kill it. And then I woke up. So fast forward to my nap. In that dream I was sitting on the couch minding my own damn business and all of a sudden this roach appears. It's crawling up the wall. I start freaking out. John winds up to kill it and the mother trucker takes flight. I start panicking. I'm gonna die. For whatever reason john sits down by me and chills, while this thing is flying around. All of a sudden, as if it knows I hate it,  it comes flying right at me. Pause. This is not at all how tyre act in real life but dreams man. They screw with you. Unpause. It hovers about 2 ft from me and john smacks it sending it flying into the fish tank. Meanwhile I'm hyperventilating and bawling. We all get up to go see and so does twix our cat.  And what does she do?  Jumps right on in the tank. John gets it out and kills it. I go to my room and lay down. And in my dream I fell asleep. In real life john recently left to go help a friend. And in the dream I wake up and hes back. So he comforts me as I'm bawling. So then I wake up for reals to a soaked pillow and tears streaming down my face. You're probably thinking "she has PTSD to a bug?!" No. Not exactly. The PTSD goes to childhood abuse and how my spermdoner would taunt me with these bugs and later abuse me. So seeing that specific bugv that's not native to utah and I'm an adult now freaks me out. And brings up memories o f tat asshole and the things he did to me. I'm terrified of roaches. So you won't see me playing with any.